Unicycle (Craigslist Text)
October 15th, 2012
- ( This is a type of CrankText where i post an ad on CL, then only respond by text message after the people contact me about the item for sale )
- ( Feb. 9th @ 1pm )
- ( i get this text from someone )
- I want to buy your unicycle i saw on CL today
- Oh really? Im out on it now
- ok cool. I'll buy it after 3pm
- Well i can get rod of it at 315pm. But im in hwood
- *rid
- Otherwise i got a serious buyer at like 6pm. Dont like flakes
- I can drive to you after i get off work at 3, im in burbank
- Can we do 415pm. Running a little late
- sure
- excellent. glad to get rid. Moving. It's in steady good condition as well. Do u uni?
- my two friends do, so i thought id get one to ride too
- Cool man. It's a family heirloom. Wanna make sure we get it a good home.
- it will be practiced on in the grass so it wont hit concrete
- Okay.
- ( 2 hrs later )
- Actually i can't do it now. Big emergency. will contact u later. sorry
- ok
- ( the next day )
- Can i come get it now
- Fuck man! Was riding it yesterday and texting and fucking wrecked and messed my arm all up
- damn sorry about that. can i just pick it up?
- Lol not today man. Im in the actual hospital now til tmrw. my shit got wrekd bad. broken arm and a allergic reaction to some meds the emts gave. Fucking emts, they're just taxi drivers with a pension for gore. Anyhow, hasn't been a good 24 hrs.
- ( i send this random photo that i pulled off Google Images )
- oh damn. that's intense
- yeah man. But i will wait to show it to you the uni next. Prob wont be til tmrw or day after. Whatre yalls plans on unis?
- Unis' u mean unicycles?
- nah, unicorns. fuck yeah man, unicycles! one eyes, unis, lance armstongin, lone rangers, etc.
- yall tryin to get a stung squad up? I used to stunt.
- well i can also juggle, so i wanna learn how to ride one and juggle.
- you jug fruits? what u jug?
- i can do fruits, but i do knives.
- R u serious? Thats a skill man. Du u know the Tour de Farce
- Are they an underground unicycle gang of LA?
- no man. It's a serious troop man. Let me know when you wanna be serious. This uni has been important to me.
- im being serious man. have u heard of the underground gang in LA that just rides unicycles everywhere?
- Gang? Really man? Cmon not in the mood man.
- yea. my friend rides a 6' unicyle and he was JUST tellin me about them. It sounds crazy but they exist. Idk much about them though
- i'll chk out the Tour de Farce riders when i get home
- ( I dont have any clue how to abbreviate feet or inches, so i pretend to misunderstand that this guy is talking about a 6 inch unicycle, and just fucking with me, when he is corrrectly and earnestly talking about a six foot unicycle )
- A six inch uni? yur fuxkin with me man. they dont exist
- ugh ok fine. 5'6"
- i gotta rest man. my arm is throbbing. Holler when u r serious. No time for people screwing around especially when im not feeling well.
- dude. 5'6" unicycles exist. I cant believe you've been a rider w/o even knowing that. im sending you a pic
- ( he sends this pic )
- Yeah i know THOSE exist man. I said that 6 inch ones dont exist. Yur talking to a guy who was raised around unis and grew up around unicyclists from everywhere (Calypso Denman, Clark 'Upright' Hofstra, among others). Ive been lone rangering longer than u can imagine man. Now fuk off with your bs I'm trying to find this heirloom a good home
- i said 6' ! quotes mean inches and apostrophes are feet! go back and look!
- text me when you become literate.
- Whatever u ass i'm staying over night in a hospital and yur gonna be a punk. real cool you knife monkey. go catch a blade with your neck.
- stop using our health care you dumb beaner!
- ( i dont respond )
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